The Magic Ring

So it is officially one week two days since I took the plunge and got married. Admittedly I thought things were going to be different. Not different as in "bad" but different as in the world is coming to an end and I have lost my identity. But surprisingly it's not the case at all. If anything I'm probably more myself now that I've ever been. What's more I'm giggling, smiling and shagging like it's nobody's business. The one thing that I've noticed the most is that I'm happy. I haven't lost any part of myself; I feel more free now then when I was when I was single. That's what I find funny. I was always scared of making a lifelong commitment to somebody else. But there is something so liberating about true and unconditional love. It can shelter to you from the harshness of this world; A love that can give you a platform to speak and the love That shines a light on the very unique and special gem that you are. I didn't realize until the feeling was gone that before I was married had a sense of bitterness and resentment nestled inside me. I felt that in relationships I was trying to be contained, molded and shaped to fit someone else's expectations. But I know now that it was just another wall to keep people out, to try and protect myself from some unknown terror ; a way to habour the hurts and the pains of the past and murmur softly to myself that I was the victim. I take responsibility for myself now and with the love of a good man I will allow myself the courage to fight for what I want; to allow myself more than a few glimpses of happiness and to forgive and forget.